A Word on the Black Woman-White Man Dynamic in Society and Popular Culture

I’m glad this dynamic is being discussed. Society wants to focus in Black men/White women interracial relationship controversy while making invisible the painful controversy of Black women/White men relationships. They don’t want to talk about because they don’t want to make white men the villains. They want to continue the idea of colorblindness of IR without talking about the historical implications.

Here’s an excerpt from Belinda Tucker on why most Black women rule out white men as partners:

“There’s a reason that black women are wary of white men: white men’s attitudes toward them, said symposium participant Belinda Tucker, a professor at UCLA. “Media portrayals of black women as either hypersexualized or Big Mommas continue to encourage exploitative attitudes,” she said. By dating black men, women are ‘safe from societal rejections.'”

Whenever Black women talk about the role of race/gender/class as well as history in interracial relationships, people get defensive and downright angry.

Sad, but true.

Whispers of a Womanist

tumblr_mcdfcd2yaF1rj5gd4o1_500

Contemporary society featuresan influx of relations between black women and white men. From politician’s wives, notably Chirlane McCray (wife of New York City Mayor Bill De Blasio) to romances featured on prime time sitcoms, like Kerry Washington on Scandal and now Halle Berry on Extant, feature educated and powerful black women in the arms of white men.

There are many potential reasons why this white man/black woman dynamic has experienced an abundance of exposure in contemporary society. My mind journeys back to an article I read about the 2004 movie Hitch,starring Will Smith and Eva Mendes. The article disclosed why casting directors declined to cast a black female lead. The reasoning was, that a black female lead would alienate those outside the black diaspora. Interestingly, black romance is perceived as anti-white but in majority relations those of color are encouraged to see beyond the absence of color. Thus, its very…

View original post 921 more words

Advertisements

Why some black women prefer not to date some white men

Check out some of the commentary by professor M. Belinda Tucker regarding Ralph Richard Banks controversial book, Is Marriage for White People. She critique Mr. Banks assertion that Black women should date/marry outside of the race without talking about history, stereotypes/myths, and racism toward Black women by non Black people.

Here’s her take as well as anecdotal evidence on interracial relationships between Black women and White men. She spoke the about things that we as Black women thought for the last 60 years. Here’s the excerpt from the Interracial Marriage Symposium of 2011 by Council of Contemporary Families:

“Belinda Tucker (UCLA) agrees Black women are way of white men, but ties this to a history of white men’s attitudes towards them
“Our data from 21 large U.S. cities in 1996 showed that while nearly 90 percent of Black men would marry someone of another race, 71 percent of Black women also supported interracial marriage. When it came down to specifics, though, a differential reluctance emerged: only 57 percent of black women would marry someone who was white.*

“This reluctance to marry white men comes from a deep knowledge of this society’s historical and current views about Black women, especially in regard to those elements of self that are most vulnerable in romantic encounters-physical features and sexuality. Societal physical standards essentially the opposite of those possessed by most African American women are made abundantly clear in the skin color,hair texture, hip size, etc. glamorized in television programs, ads, and magazines. Media portrayals of Black women as either hyper sexualized or Big Mamas continue to encourage exploitative attitudes. When I was in high school in the 1960s, one of my white male classmates casually quoted his father’s assertion: ‘you cannot be a man until you split a black oak.’ That quote has Belinda Tucker (UCLA) agrees Black women are way of white men, but ties this to a history of white men’s attitudes towards them.

“Our data from 21 large U.S. cities in 1996 showed that while nearly 90 percent of Black men would marry someone of another race, 71 percent of Black women also supported interracial marriage. When it came down to specifics, though, a differential reluctance emerged: only 57 percent of black women would marry someone who was white.*

This reluctance to marry white men comes from a deep knowledge of this society’s historical and current views about Black women, especially in regard to those elements of self that are most vulnerable in romantic encounters-physical features and sexuality. Societal physical standards essentially the opposite of those possessed by most African American women are made abundantly clear in the skin color,hair texture, hip size, etc. glamorized in television programs, ads, and magazines. Media portrayals of Black women as either hypersexualized or Big Mommas continue to encourage exploitative attitudes. When I was in high school in the 1960s, one of my white male classmates casually quoted his father’s assertion: ‘you cannot be a man until you split a black oak.’ That quote has remained embedded in my consciousness, and I’m certain it has affected my assessments of the motivations of white men who pursue African American women.

‘Though Professor Banks may believe the continued loyalty expressed by African American women for African American men is misplaced, the enduring embrace of African American men establishes a boundary that is, at the very least, safe from societal rejections of Black womanhood (i.e., where standards of attractiveness and status are at least partially community defined). For, despite the near universal acceptance among Black men of interracial marriage, most married African American men have Black wives.’”

Why are some Americans are so eager to encourage Black women to widen out without counting the costs of doing so? Without talking about the painful history of interracial relationships in America?

S.B.

Abagond

Commenter Peanut on real reasons some black women prefer not to date some white men (based on her own experience):

  1. It is difficult for many white men to see black women as individuals, even when they prefer to date black women. Example: expecting all black women to be able to dance.
  2. Some white people tend to view the attractive, classy and intelligent black women they encounter as exceptions and exempt from being “regular black” by virtue of the fact that they do not conform to negative black female stereotypes.  Example: being called white girl in a black girl’s body, a chocolate-dipped white girl.
  3. Some white people forget that you are black and will say stuff without thinking in front of you. Too many examples to recount.
  4. Referring to black people who do not conform to mainstream (white society’s) expectations as “ghetto”.
  5. Attributing bad behaviour on the part of the individual…

View original post 404 more words

Eugenics: We are being Exterminated!

That’s so true! Corporations and Governments are in cahoots with each other to destroy human lives.

Kushite Kingdom

Pop Cont3

Pop Cont1

If you believe every conspiracy is just a theory with no verifiable facts, stop reading this article now. If you are afraid of the truth and you believe ignorance is bliss, stop reading this article now. But if you want to know the truth, the why and the what you can do about it, please keep reading this article. I am going to give you information that can be verified independent of me, independent of YouTube and independent of theory. Before you shake your head in disbelief, go check for yourself. I hope you are a skeptic, but a skeptic with the nerve to go find out, not just to scoff in disbelief.

Last night I again watched an old movie called Logan’s Run, a sci-fi thriller of sorts made far ahead of its time. Logan’s Run was based on population control. The people lived in a utopian society where…

View original post 2,067 more words

The Chapel Hill Shooting

Not only is this a tragedy, but it’s a hate crime and it ought to be treated as such because that guy has a violent history toward his neighbors.

This crime fits a larger narrative of Islamophobia and racism in America. It’s of no surprise that the governor of NC didn’t denounced the murder as a hate crime. That Muslims/Middle Easterners in America are victims of racist incidents just like other POCs and religious/ethnic minorities.

Abagond

craig-stephen-hicks

chapel-hill-shooting

The Chapel Hill Shooting took place in the US on February 10th 2015 near the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, North Carolina. Craig Stephen Hicks, an American student, shot three other American students in the head:

  • Deah Barakat, 23,
  • Yusor Abu-Salha, his wife, 21,
  • Razan Abu-Salha, her sister, 19.

Apparent hate crime: Hicks is an outspoken atheist who belongs to Atheists for Equality. He killed Muslim American neighbours that he had threatened and been hateful towards in the past.

The hashtag #ChapelHillShooting went viral on Twitter in the US, Britain, Egypt, Saudi Arabia and elsewhere. Some said the mainstream media was not covering the shooting, but it made the front page of the New York Times the next day.

The police said:

“preliminary investigation indicates that the crime was motivated by an ongoing neighbour dispute over parking.”

They have not yet ruled out a hate crime.

View original post 439 more words

Moral Mondays

moral-monday-stage_img

Those trolls and sock pockets came here to derail the very important conversation that affect the lives of millions of Americans, not just North Carolinians. Moral Monday is needed because lives of Americans are at stake. Some of those posters want to take us back to the 18th century when people of Color, working/middle class and the poor were subordinated to the upper class/aristocracy of the time, when non-Christians are persecuted and driven away from various American/European lands, when women are being put in their “place.”

The policies of Gov. Pat McCrory, Art Pope, the Koch Brothers, and the right wing Republicans are doing exactly that. Those posters just don’t get it or are so blind by their racial/gender/class biases that they don’t want to acknowledge the realities of today’s society.

Abagond

moral-mondays-raleigh-nc-2014-02-09 February 8th 2014: The largest civil rights protest in the South since Selma

Moral Mondays (2013- ) is an American grassroots protest movement against right-wing Republican Tea Party policies. It started in 2013 in North Carolina when the Tea Party took over that state. In 2014 it spread to Georgia and South Carolina.

On February 8th 2014 in Raleigh, North Carolina, the state capital, Moral Mondays and the left-wing HK on J Coalition staged the largest civil rights protest the South has seen since Selma in 1965.

It is not (yet) as large as the Occupy movement was just before the nationwide police crackdown in 2011, but it has a broader base: young and old, black and white, working and middle class, teachers, doctors,pro-abortion activists, etc. Church and labour leaders support it.

william-barber Rev William Barber II

Moral Mondays is led by Reverend William Barber II, president of the…

View original post 397 more words

A small band of protesters won’t let the Pasco police shooting be forgotten

Fusion

On any given day over the last two weeks in Pasco, Washington, a small group of protesters has gathered in front of city hall to protest the police shooting of Antonio Zambrano-Montes, a Mexican orchard worker who was throwing rocks at cars and police before he was killed.

Quite small: Recent trips to the building, the new epicenter of activism in Washington’s Tri-Cities region, have seen as few as three protesters at a time.

But even with numbers lower than activists would like—and regardless of the many obstacles the movement faces, such as the hesitance of the region’s undocumented population to risk arrest by protesting—the small group has succeeded in keeping the attention of local officials, federal agencies, and even the international press.

“Things slow down over the weekdays,” said Jeremy Peterson, leader of the group Occupy Tri-Cities, because of the working-class nature of the city. But weekends allow the…

View original post 530 more words

Sean Penn’s immigration joke at the Oscars goes viral with #Penndejo

That man thinks he can say whatever the heck he wants and not face consequences? Well, Sean, you can’t say whatever you want in public and not get burned.

Welcome to the real world!

Fusion

“Who gave this son of a bitch his green card?” joked actor Sean Penn after announcing that Mexican director Alejandro González Iñarritú’s Birdman won Best Picture at last night’s 87th Academy Awards.

The comment from Penn, who has been a friend of the Mexican director since their days working together on the film 21 Grams in 2003, caused the Internet to bristle. Although Iñarritú later told Variety that he didn’t find the joke offensive and indeed thought it was “hilarious,” some Mexicans and U.S. Latinos weren’t laughing. Minutes after Penn’s incendiary remarks, social media gave birth to the hashtag Sean #Penndejo, a play on the actor’s name and the Spanish word for “stupid asshole.”

Political pundits on both sides of the border also weighed in:

“I think that Sean Penn only intended it as a joke. Let’s not let sensibility kill our sense of humor.” — Univision news anchor Enrique Acevedo

“Mr. Penn…

View original post 174 more words

Chapel Hill shooting: My best friend was killed and I don’t know why

Let’s not forget the role of gender in Islamophobia as well. Like her best friend said, that man though Deah was white before he married Yusor Mohammed Abu-Salha.

Fusion

21-year-old Yusor Mohammad Abu-Salha was shot in the head alongside her husband and her sister in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, on Tuesday. A preliminary police investigation suggests that the fatal shootings were the result of a parking dispute, but the possibility that it was a hate crime has not been ruled out. A 46-year-old neighbor, Craig Stephen Hicks, has been arrested and charged.

Here, Yusor’s friend, Amira Ata, a teacher, tries to make sense of the tragedy—and recalls an evening when the alleged shooter arrived at the victims’ apartment because he thought they were making too much noise playing a board game. He came to the door with a rifle, Yusor told her. 

As told to Latoya Peterson.

Yusor Abu-Salha was like a sister to me.

We’ve always been together. Starting in third grade, we went through elementary school, middle school, high school, undergrad in Raleigh, North Carolina. We were inseparable.

I’ve never…

View original post 1,336 more words

Vern’s Venting: Fatty, Fatty Two-By-Four

BROTHA WOLF

Fashion-Tips-for-Plus-Size-Women

By Lavern Merriweather

It’s no surprise or secret that white folks in the media just love to praise themselves for the shit that they hate in us Negroes. During the Superbowl, a certain commercial aired that caused a big stir [no pun intended] featuring an attractive, size 14 white woman clad in a revealing black bikini. Some viewers weren’t exactly thrilled that the company which aired the ad hired a less than petite woman.

However, many on the morning talk shows and gabfests were falling head over heels that finally a woman with curves, as they call it, gets her very own chance to be ogled in a sexist way. Now, heavy chicks can now be reduced to body parts and objectified for the enjoyment of men just like their skinny counterparts. Hooray!

Sarcasm aside, I really am thankful that at last, women can actually strut their stuff bereft of…

View original post 963 more words

DOING HISTORY IN BUNCOMBE COUNTY: SLAVE DEEDS AND A HISTORY LESSON LEARNED

History is very important.

BEAUTIFUL, ALSO, ARE THE SOULS OF MY BLACK SISTERS

Enslaved Black Americans were not just chattel on a piece of paper.

They were human beings who led harsh and brutal lives under slavery’s bullwhip and yoke, as students in the following article learned.

As one student stated:  He recalls a time when one of the students, who had often struggled in school, looked up from a deed he’d been working on and marvelled, “I am holding someone’s life in my hands.”

Powerful words indeed.

****************************************************

Doing History in Buncombe County

Printer-friendly versionPrinter-friendly version

Each year, thousands of North Carolina students study slavery as part of the North Carolina and U.S. history curriculum. It’s not an easy topic—in fact, many educators shy away from teaching about slavery beyond the bare minimum requirements. But in Buncombe County, North Carolina, the chance discovery of a cache of slave deeds led to an opportunity for students to move beyond textbooks and…

View original post 1,321 more words