Vern’s Venting: White Daddy Savior

Amen and Amen!


By Lavern Merriweather:

It has become adamantly clear that white folks particularly white males only give a shit about black women when it suits them.

By now, everyone has seen the video of the cop who also performs security duty at a high school in Richland County, South Carolina named Ben Fields. In the video, Fields, who is a part-time bodybuilder by the way, grabs a rather skinny 16 year-old viciously by the throat. Then proceeds to drag her across the room and out of the door. Mind you, there are people who say she was being disruptive and bratty by not only refusing to shut off her phone during class but also leaving when the teacher asked her to more than once. While I agree to some extent, that still doesn’t excuse how Fields handled the situation.

What I have a problem with, however, is the attitude coming from…

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“Would you date a white man?” – The Infamous Question

Thank you, Sis. That’s the topic mainstream media loves to obsess about. They obsess about Black womens’ opposition to IR, never mind it was Whites that are most opposed to IRs, even today. It seems to me that mainstream American media needs to stereotype Black women as being the angry, white-hating ones, while Whites are given a pass for their anti-Black hatred, including hatred of IR Black/non-Black couples while ignoring history. They want to paint themselves as “progressive” and “colorblind” whereas us Black women are being painted as “racist” toward Whites, even when we aren’t. It’s the double standards and the hypocrisy of mainstream America that irks me to no end.

Thank you for writing this important issue.

Black In Canada

ImageThe older I get the more I seem to get asked this question. The older I get the more disturbed I am about this question. The more I am asked this question, the less I actually want to answer it. Interracial dating was something that I had seen occur and be discussed but I had personally never really grappled with it until recently. Of course I had been asked this question before, but I had never really thought about what it meant – that is what it truly meant, until it was too late.

Truthfully, this question doesn’t belong to me, it never has. However, in our current society it is and always will be my question. Here’s why:

Questions like, “Would you date a white man?” “Do you get angry when you see a black man with a non-black woman?” and others surrounding interracial dating are almost exclusively asked…

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Whom We Decide To Lay With And Love Is Political: An Interview With “No Fats, No Femmes” Director Jamal T. Lewis.

Absolutely true.


What does it mean to be “attracted” to someone? What does it mean to find a person desirable? With whom do we want to have sex and why? How do we know a person is beautiful? Are our attractions unchangeable and innate, or are they shaped by the world around us?

These are some of the questions explored in the documentary No Fats, No Femmes by Brooklyn-based media maker, Jamal Lewis. The film – it’s title reflective of a common refrain on gay dating app profiles indicating in whom a user is uninterested – intends to “interrogate and explore desire and the ways in which it is deeply informed by media, pop culture, and capitalism through interviews, archival research, and performance.”

I had the pleasure of speaking with Jamal about the film, the politics of desire, media erasure, and the necessity of raising the voice of the most marginalized in…

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#FlashbackFriday – Preference and Race in the Dating World

That’s so true. People who say things publicly about Black women often have a racialized sexist agenda or ideology.

Stitch's Media Mix

Originally written in 2013 on Tumblr.

I hate the word preference. Or at least, I hate the concept of that most people have of it in terms of dating.

I hate that not only has society made it okay for everyone to have a (frankly racist) preference against Black women, but that it’s also socially acceptable to talk about why you won’t date a Black woman… TO BLACK WOMEN.

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